pessimistic8ball:

Dear Jacob,

It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? I know we didn’t leave each other on the best of terms, but I’m writing you hoping to rectify this, to bring things back to the way they used to be. You remember the good times, right? There was orientation, where we first met. I remember the good laugh we had when you got on the wrong bus and ended up lost in east campus. I know there were some rough patches during freshman year, but we always worked through it. We made it through together.

Listen, I know you’re mad, and you have every right to be. I know I’ve always made you take classes you hated and that were irrelevant to your goals, but I promise I’m a different person now! If you give me the chance, I know you can learn to trust me again. There’s just one thing we need to clear up for good. I’m talking about the straw that broke the camel’s back in our relationship. Yes, of course I mean that 100 dollars I took from you last year.

You’re probably still bitter because I asked you for 100 dollars with the promise that it would be worthwhile, and then blew it all on my gigantic-student-center fetish. All I can say is, I’m sorry. It was a strange time in my life; all the other schools kept laughing at my tiny Tate center and I just couldn’t take it anymore. Do you know what it feels like to be mocked like that? But worry not, those days are over now and I want you back. I realize my mistake and believe me, it won’t happen again…

…after this time. Okay, I’ll get to the main point here. I need 100 more dollars to finish paying for that student center. I know you don’t use it and probably never will, but come on, we go way back and I need your help! I promise that this time I can surely make something good out of it! Trust me, once this all blows over I’m sure you will learn to love me again.

Forever yours (until you run out of money),

UGA